February 14th is just another day on the calender. Are you still going to treat your girl like a princess tomorrow like you should be doing everyday? Are you still going to hate the fact that you’re single as fuck as much as you did this week? Probably not… people need to calm their shit down.
Waiting, waiting, waiting. For a girl I fear may never come. I left the lonely sands of the shore from which my angel left. I see her flying in the distance from time to time and wave with happiness. But now, I sit on the steps where I met the little girl who changed my life. The little girl who was once my best friend, my lover, my other half. Through all our fights and heartbreak, she would always end up back on my door step, and there I’d be on the otherside of the door waiting. I’d lock the door whenever she left so she wouldn’t come back, but then always unlock it realizing I’m still waiting for her to come back. I gave her the key, but she no longer seems to carry it next to her heart. I’m not sure where she keeps it anymore, or if she even has it. I often times write her with hopes of good news, yet, seldom do I hear from her in return. In times like this, I even write to myself, saying all things I wish I could tell her. I leave them in my own mailbox in case I decide to send them later. Sometimes, I wonder if she visits this house when I’m not around. I look in my mailbox from time to time and see some of the letters have been opened. I see her walk past here a lot, I invite her in, but she always seems to be on her way to somewhere else. Our time is always brief, she will sit on the door step with me for a while, then, gone. I can’t go with her, because I know she’s on her way to another house. No matter how many times I leave this house on my own, this place of memories, pain, happiness, I can’t leave it for long. It’s where my heart is trapped. Maybe out of curiosity. Maybe out of loneliness. Maybe even out of hope. Hope that one day, I’ll come home and see her sitting on that door step with the key in her hand. This is something I dream of everyday. This place hasn’t been the same since she left it. It’s contents are the same, you can still see a lot of the damage that we did to it, despite our best efforts to fix it. But its just not the same without her there. It’s the one hole, the one flaw that could I could never fix by myself. She’s the only one who knows how to make it better again. She kept the house warm. She made the house bright. She made this house into a home. A place where I felt right. A place where I felt love. A place where I felt I belonged… and still belong. People may walk by it and see it as another house, just another grey scale building like the others around it. There will always be something better, there will always be something worse, but there will never be anything quite like what he had. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
